Alright, so it's been a little while since I last posted. I'm still doing all the pre-insurance appointments, getting all the necessary documents in order to proceed.
I met with the psychologist on the 22nd. His name is Henry Owen at the Owens Center in Suntree/Melbourne, Florida. I actually really liked talking to him. He didn't really give off that therapist vibe that I've seen all too often. I felt pretty comfortable talking to him. Unfortunately, though.... At the beginning of the appointment, he let me know his process for these types of evaluations. He tells me he does an initial interview appointment, then a testing appointment, and a follow-up type appointment... oh, btw, testing isn't covered by your insurance and will cost $300-400! SAY WHAT!? No no no, I don't think so. He said he doesn't want to give his professional opinion/evaluation on a person unless he really makes sure. Which is fine, but there's no way in hell I'm paying that much money.
So I left feeling very pissed off and stressed out. Not only did I just waste $30 (co-pay), I also would have to see someone else who wouldn't charge $300 for a test. And I would have to leave work again. And who knows how long it would take to even get an appointment!
So, as I was leaving, I called my mom and filled her in. She called her ex-therapist and asked if she would do this type of evaluation that I needed without all the bullshit. So I got an appointment for the NEXT DAY! Next day rolls around and I go see her. Well, unfortunately she does put off the therapist vibe, so I wasn't entirely as outgoing as I was with the other guy - but that's ok! She told my mom over the phone that she would probably give me a personality test, but that it would be charged as a session. So I took a $30 personality test the following day, after having to spend $30 to see her the day before. And now I have an appointment on Monday for a follow-up, which will cost another $30 co-pay. They're raping my wallet, I tell ya.
So then I also saw the Nutritionist this past Thursday. I was told that it would cost me $50, but they never asked for any money. Odd. Hopefully they never do. :D
And I still have to meet with my endocrinologist to convince him to give me a note (and also my weight history). I don't know how he feels about this type of surgery, since I've never discussed it with him. I'm worried he's going to want to have me try something else first (a medication). What's the point? Even if it helps and I lose weight, I'm not going to be on the medication forever. And then I'm just going to gain all the weight back. And then I will just have wasted all this time that I could be healthy and feel better about myself! But maybe he'll understand and work with me. I really hope so. It's scary since he's my last appointment before my pre-op and insurance submittal. Plus, that's another $30. :P
I can't wait until these appointments are over and we can submit the paperwork to the insurance company. I'm tired of having to leave work in the middle of the day. Luckily we're really slow right now and I'm able to make up the time I miss during the week (coming in early and staying late). I just feel guilty about it. But soon enough I'll be all done and on the road to becoming a more healthy me! I can't wait!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
First Blog!
So I decided that I would follow the trend and create a blog to document my lapband journey.
I'm 26 years old and I live in Florida. I was pretty active as a child. I lived in The Netherlands for a good portion of my childhood. There were only a couple TV stations in English, so I didn't spend much time in front of the T.V. We lived in a really cool neighborhood, so most of my time was spent outdoors. I was really big into rollerblading until I was about 16 years old. That's about where my depression started getting really bad. I stopped doing anything active (which included rollerblading, figure skating, tennis, etc...) and turned to food for comfort. 10 years later, here I am, at 260lbs. I had started gaining weight previous to age 16, but nothing major. I believe I was a size 11/13 (12/14 in women's) when I was 16. Now, I'm what.... 22/24? That's just insane.
I heard about the lapband a couple years ago. I was at an estate sale and a young woman (who was selling the items) started talking to me about how SHE had the lapband done recently and lost X amount of weight. I read a little after that, but I don't think insurance was really covering it at the time and I didn't like the idea of food getting stuck and having to throw it up. Plus, I don't think I met the BMI requirements at the time.
Over the years, I've tried many different weight loss plans. Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers. The one I stuck with most often was simply calorie counting and exercise. In 2006 I lost about 30lbs and was down to about 210lbs. I bought new clothes, was feeling great/confident, started hanging around with more people, got more attention, etc... Then something snapped, I freaked out, and started to binge. I ended up gaining 30lbs in 3 months.
But anyway... I was also on a study trial for a weight loss drug called Lorcaserin. It was a double-blind study, though, and I'm pretty sure I had the placebo. It was supposed to work like Fen-Phen, but without the nasty side effects (damage to heart, etc..). I dropped out after 6 months, due to appointments conflicting with my work schedule at a crucial time.
So a couple months ago my mom reintroduced the idea of the lapband to me. So then I looked into it more, found lapbandtalk.com, and decided it fit for me. Thus far I went to the seminar on May 28th, 2009. I met with the surgeon this past Monday (6/15). I see the psychologist this coming Monday (June 22nd), the nutritionist on Thursday (June 25th), then I meet with my endocrinologist (need him to write a letter of medical necessity) on June 30th. I wish I could get an earlier appointment, but... hopefully it'll all work out for the best!
So why do I want to lose weight?
#1 - To be healthy. I have PCOS, plus I'm borderline diabetic, and have borderline high cholesterol. I don't want to get old and have 1,000 different medical conditions, problems, aches and pains.
#2 - To be active again. Because I gained weight during a period where I had no energy/motivation for physical activity, it has become extremely hard to be active. I want to do the things that I used to do - rollerblade, figure skate, play tennis. Plus I want to kayak, sky dive, hike, swim, and all the things I've avoided doing (or haven't been able to do) because of my weight. I want to be able to walk a distance and not feel out of breath and embarrassed. I want to be able to run and possibly run in marathons. Or ride a bike.
#3 - To feel good about myself. I constantly think about how others perceive and judge me based on my weight. While I have very few experiences with rude/nasty people, I just don't feel ok with myself. I feel ashamed and guilty that I let myself get this way. For many years I didn't care about my life and wanted to die. I didn't think or consider that it would change. Well, it did. Now I feel like I'm missing out on so much that I want/desire because of it. When I gain weight, I push away all relationships. I refuse to have friends or to see old friends because I don't want them to see me like this. I don't even want to see me like this! So I want to feel good about myself and how I look. I don't imagine that I'll ever weigh 115lbs, of course, but I know there's a point where I'll be happy and comfortable.
I'm 26 years old and I live in Florida. I was pretty active as a child. I lived in The Netherlands for a good portion of my childhood. There were only a couple TV stations in English, so I didn't spend much time in front of the T.V. We lived in a really cool neighborhood, so most of my time was spent outdoors. I was really big into rollerblading until I was about 16 years old. That's about where my depression started getting really bad. I stopped doing anything active (which included rollerblading, figure skating, tennis, etc...) and turned to food for comfort. 10 years later, here I am, at 260lbs. I had started gaining weight previous to age 16, but nothing major. I believe I was a size 11/13 (12/14 in women's) when I was 16. Now, I'm what.... 22/24? That's just insane.
I heard about the lapband a couple years ago. I was at an estate sale and a young woman (who was selling the items) started talking to me about how SHE had the lapband done recently and lost X amount of weight. I read a little after that, but I don't think insurance was really covering it at the time and I didn't like the idea of food getting stuck and having to throw it up. Plus, I don't think I met the BMI requirements at the time.
Over the years, I've tried many different weight loss plans. Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers. The one I stuck with most often was simply calorie counting and exercise. In 2006 I lost about 30lbs and was down to about 210lbs. I bought new clothes, was feeling great/confident, started hanging around with more people, got more attention, etc... Then something snapped, I freaked out, and started to binge. I ended up gaining 30lbs in 3 months.
But anyway... I was also on a study trial for a weight loss drug called Lorcaserin. It was a double-blind study, though, and I'm pretty sure I had the placebo. It was supposed to work like Fen-Phen, but without the nasty side effects (damage to heart, etc..). I dropped out after 6 months, due to appointments conflicting with my work schedule at a crucial time.
So a couple months ago my mom reintroduced the idea of the lapband to me. So then I looked into it more, found lapbandtalk.com, and decided it fit for me. Thus far I went to the seminar on May 28th, 2009. I met with the surgeon this past Monday (6/15). I see the psychologist this coming Monday (June 22nd), the nutritionist on Thursday (June 25th), then I meet with my endocrinologist (need him to write a letter of medical necessity) on June 30th. I wish I could get an earlier appointment, but... hopefully it'll all work out for the best!
So why do I want to lose weight?
#1 - To be healthy. I have PCOS, plus I'm borderline diabetic, and have borderline high cholesterol. I don't want to get old and have 1,000 different medical conditions, problems, aches and pains.
#2 - To be active again. Because I gained weight during a period where I had no energy/motivation for physical activity, it has become extremely hard to be active. I want to do the things that I used to do - rollerblade, figure skate, play tennis. Plus I want to kayak, sky dive, hike, swim, and all the things I've avoided doing (or haven't been able to do) because of my weight. I want to be able to walk a distance and not feel out of breath and embarrassed. I want to be able to run and possibly run in marathons. Or ride a bike.
#3 - To feel good about myself. I constantly think about how others perceive and judge me based on my weight. While I have very few experiences with rude/nasty people, I just don't feel ok with myself. I feel ashamed and guilty that I let myself get this way. For many years I didn't care about my life and wanted to die. I didn't think or consider that it would change. Well, it did. Now I feel like I'm missing out on so much that I want/desire because of it. When I gain weight, I push away all relationships. I refuse to have friends or to see old friends because I don't want them to see me like this. I don't even want to see me like this! So I want to feel good about myself and how I look. I don't imagine that I'll ever weigh 115lbs, of course, but I know there's a point where I'll be happy and comfortable.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)